Bucket List

I've gotten into the Facebook groove with most everyone else lately. Its fun to reconnect with old friends and aquaintences. Let it be enough to say, time changes people. Time changes expectations.

One of those old friends has been exchanging a series of comments with me for weeks now. It's become apparent that he has "overcome his circumstances". Originally from a very humble childhood, my friend now enjoys a fine home, expensive wine tastes, famous friends, worldly travels and a check book to match them all. He's probably spent more money this week than I'll make this year. Although I'm sure he meant no harm, it made me feel somewhat an underachiever as I read his accomplishments. He's just become familiar with a financial lifestyle I'll never know. Today he posted about "Standing on the Great Wall of China at daybreak, and walking the Thames River at sunset" He went on to comment that he's "Walked around Stonehenge in the misting rain, visited Mozart's birth place in Salzburg, Austria and spent 12 straight hours in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam"....all of this in addition to his travels in Rome and visiting the grave of the famous poet John Keats.....Now I'm impressed with all that, I really am. I'm happy for him, because he deserves it...he obviously worked hard for it. Me? I've got less culture and more red on my neck than most anybody you know. I've hardly even been out of the Eastern United States. But let me tell you a little bit about what I have done, where I have been, and what I do know....

I was blessed by God to be holding my Daddy's hand when he died, and eleven months later kissed my Mom goodbye as she departed this life. I know what it is to have to tell your Mama her baby girl is dead. I've got a couple of sisters who would still fight for me...Susan out of loyalty and Angie for the pure joy of the fight. I've witnessed my two boys birth, and had the joy of raising the most fiercely loyal daughter anybody's ever known. I've buried family and made new friends. My family and I live in a place where you can see the moonlight through the coconut fronds most any night. I know what Dekle Beach smells like when the tide is low, and I know how to find arrowheads off the Mouth of Fish Creek. I ate my first oyster at Howards Cafe...and if you don't already know where that is, you'll never know. Although my sunrises and sunsets have been mostly limited to Florida and Georgia, nobody anywhere watches them with greater relish. The sunsets I see these days are like the one in the picture up top...that one's from my front porch. I spent my entire childhood on a farm. To this day I still prefer animals over a lot of people I know. I've been rejected and loved when I didn't deserve either. I've got a dog that thinks I'm Superman, and a wife that IS a Superwoman. I grew up knowing how to skin out a hog, grow peas, build fence, pull crab traps, bale hay, cut swamp cabbage and pluck a chicken. I also hope I never have to do any of that ever again. I've sold coon skins for spending money and sat up many nights shooting rabbits in our bean patch. Most of the vegetables I eat have bacon fat and pepper sauce on them. I've hoed corn with one Grandpa, and cut hay with the other. My Uncle Clyde told more tales than Mark Twain, but he taught me things my Daddy didn't know; like how to hunt and fish....and how to spin a good yarn. I am not cultured enough to have ever developed a taste for caviar, but I do like catfish stew, cornbread, and sausage gravy. I know my mama and daddy had been married 48 years when he died...that in itself taught me one of my greatest lessons. I've never sailed on a cruise ship across the ocean, but I have spent the night on the Gulf of Mexico in a 14 foot fishing boat when I didn't plan on it, and I've swam with the dolphins a couple of times too. I've never been to Stonehenge, but my wife and wallet have. I've stood on the sidelines of the Orange Bowl while Ryan played in the state championship. The next year I got to watch him play in the State All Star Game. I've sat in the bleachers behind Christy through some games when she never got off the bench except for the National Anthem. She's taught me more about loyalty than anyone else in the world. I've traveled all over South and Central Florida to watch Nick play basketball...I even got to see him get hot one night and light up the scoreboard. All three of my children have never lived a day when they were ashamed to say "I love you" to their Mom and Dad in front of their friends. My grand children live too far away, but they do know their "Pappy". I've got a son in law that is willing drive them down to see me occassionally. He also loves my little girl. I've learned that love is not measured by what you can pay for, but what you're willing to give up. I'll soon be retiring from a job that has given me great satisfaction, but relatively little in financial gain. I knew that going in. I've been fortunate enough to brush a few strokes of paint on the wall of a lot of young lives, on both sides of the bars. I've been outside in the teeth of Hurricane Wilma and the Storm of the Century. Those two events taught me how easy God can humble man. I've lost a home to fire and one to flood. I know how blessed I was to lose only material possessions both times. I've lost as many battles as I've won...that is the taste of real living. I have two friends (Roy and Donnie) I believe would die for me. You just go make a jackass out of yourself and you'll find out who YOUR real friends are too.

Yes, it's safe to say that my Bucket List has changed a bit over the last thirty years. I don't think any of us leave high school with the intention of being average. Few people envy my bank account, my car or my house. I never made it to Europe or even to New Zealand where I once dreamed of going...the Everglades will just have to do. What earthly success I've enjoyed is due greatly to Tilena's grace and patience. Most of my failure I can claim from my own poor choices. But I do sit here today firm in the knowledge that I am the richest man on the face of this earth. Most of all I know this...Tonight I'll go to church with Tilena and later, lay my head on that pillow. The last thing I'll see before I close my eyes is Tilena's face... The last thought through my mind before I drift off will be the same as every other night..."When I wake up, I'll either be looking at her, or I'll be looking at the face of Jesus". That's something Europe can't offer. My bucket is full.....

Somebody's Gotta Paddle

Friday was a tough day at work. There is always much to be done, and normally not enough day to do it in. Have you ever had those days when your boss comes by and says....Chief, I'm under the gun today, can you take care of this little thing for me? About that time, one of the office staff calls in and says, "I won't be in today....little Jimmy has a snotty nose, and oh by the way, FDLE is coming to do an audit today." Then I call to check on the progress of an assignment I had given someone weeks earlier and they say "oops, I forgot...I'll get to it next week." Most often these days happen on Friday...everybody tries to avoid me on Friday afternoon anyway. After all, who wants to be caught working at 4:50 p.m.? Now there's a fate worse than death. So after a few hours of that, I sat everything down, got in the car and went out for a Coke and peanuts. (yes I do put the peanuts in the coke) So anyway, as I was enjoying a nice cold, crunchy beverage; I rode down by the boat basin and saw the image I photographed above.

That sight said to me what I had been thinking all day long..."Well guys we're all in the boat, we all wanna go fishing, but don't think I'm gonna do the paddling", "It's too close to the weekend". Isn't that like us sometimes? We all want to get somewhere, we all want to accomplish something, we all want a paycheck, but nobody wants to do what it takes to get us there. Work is not the only place I see that. It happens at home, at church, at the club....you name it. I must confess I'm sometimes guilty myself. More likely, when I'm viewed as lazy, its actually more a case of not giving a fat baby's behind...I'm truly a contented person...lazy sometimes, but contented nonetheless. So anyway, I worked late to catch up on some things. The beauty of working at 5:30 on Friday afternoon is that NOBODY is around to interrupt you. After work I came home and found out Tilena and Penny were going away for the weekend...It's Sunday now and I'm getting hungry. Haven't eaten since Friday, but do you really expect me to cook?

In Between

The holidays are all in the rearview mirror now, and a new year....even a new decade is at hand. Somewhere in between Mad Cow Disease and my home value falling 50%, our family underwent a major metamorphosis in the last ten years. Despite the disasterous overall events for the world at large, we were blessed. In January of 2000 this was our family's world:

1.) We lived in a 110 year old house in Georgia.

2.) The combined value of our two cars was less than my dog is worth today.

3.) Christy was 19, living at home,and I was unlocking her car door about once a month.

4.) Ryan was 9 and Nick was 8. I was coaching them in Dixie League football and baseball.

5.) We did not have King Bowden, but we did have Tobias Blue...he didn't care for visitors either.


6.) My Mom, my Dad and Tilena's Dad were all still alive...we didn't see a cloud on that horizon...

7.) I knew absolutely zero about tropical plants.

8.) None of us had ever heard of Emma Grace or Parker Clayton.

9.) The size of my police department? They averaged about 380 lbs. each...

10.) I had been to Clewiston only once in my life, Tilena had never heard of it.

I didn't realize just how much things had changed until I actually began thinking about this. God has taught me an awful lot personally since then. My temper has almost completely disappeared, and my judgement is lessening. Tolerance of others has certainly improved...except for when I'm in traffic (he ain't finished with me yet), but then, there was an awful lot of room for improvement in most areas of my life. Hopefully the next ten years I will learn even more. As far as change...who knows what will be? If you had told me ten years ago that today we would be living in a place where the grass never quits growing. Or how much I would love a grandchild. Or that I could love another dog as much as Toby...I just wouldn't have believed it.

Tilena has changed very little in ten years. But then she didn't need to. Well.....maybe if she wasn't quite so lippy... Otherwise, she is still as gorgeous as ever. She's as wise as ever. She taught me a lot about life and myself.

Christy went from being a child, to being married and having two children of her own.

Ryan and Nick went from being very small children...to being very big....children.

Ole Toby....if there's a dog in heaven, it's him. He suffered a Libby every where he ever went...that's a story unto itself and maybe I'll tell it on another day.

As for the rest of the world, it was a painful and crushing decade. Disaster upon disaster at every turn. My heart hurts for the people I see on TV and read about in the papers. As bad as the natural disasters were, they paled in comparison to manmade ones. Lies have been told and retold....we've allowed ourselves to be governed according to some of the largest lies in history. We've all suffered from them. The worst of it all is that the most vulnerable are the greatest believers in the lies. People like me who never believed a word of it will survive....maybe even thrive. But those who had so much to lose....and wanted so bad to believe such incredulous, fantastic tales, will be saddled with crushing lifelong debt. So sad...so very, very sad. How can we not understand the most basic principle of economics..."It profits the wage earner nothing, to destroy the wage payer, but it will cost both their livlihood"...OK, enough of politics...that temper thing does not appear to be completely cured...

So, my thinking is that we must surely have a better decade ahead than the one behind. Ten years from now I plan on being 3-4 years into retirement. But you know what God thinks of us making plans in advance...In the words of Robert Burns, "The best laid schemes o' mice and men, Gang aft agley"...bet some of you didn't know Steinbeck took those words from an old Robert Burns poem did you?

As for the next decade, 'twill be the teens...pray for us all, it's a difficult age.

Don & Co.

Thanksgiving

Well, it's coming around again. Thanksgiving and all the Holidays that trail behind. I'm not complaining mind you, I really enjoy the next couple of months. They just seem to come around more often these days.

Hopefully Emma Grace and Parker will be coming to see me for the Turkey Day weekend. Christy says Parker is beginning to look like the Michelin Man with his fat little self. I sure miss them. Emma Grace was all decked out for Tricks and Treats. Did I say I miss them? I've posted a couple photos of them. One of Parker and Christy and the other is Gracie and Carlton. Christy sure takes a good photo doesn't she?

These guys are just four of the many things I give thanks for regularly. I am THE most blessed man on earth for sure.

Well troops....I just haven't felt particularly inspired to write for some time. Sorry about the absence...The feeling just ain't there you know? I tell you what though. You guys send me some ideas or opinions of a few things, and maybe I'll find some creation or controversy in some of it. After all, I do want to put out things you're interested in.

Take care all and send an idea or two my way.

D & C

Late Afternoons

Brian would have enjoyed seeing these things. All of God's creatures, scenery, and plants were a neverending sense of wonder to him.

I went to see Brian one last time last week. I was not ready to say

goodbye to him...but God sets those

dates and has no obligation to check

with any of us. Many times He told us how unexpected the time would

be upon us. Still we wait and delay. I pondered His Word on the subject long since Tilena and I returned from the trip. The afternoon following our ride home, I was wandering around about the place as the remains of the day drifted away. Any number of thoughts crossed my mind when I thought to pick up the camera and see what God showed me. In the first shot there on the left, my focus was drawn to the basketball sitting in the back of the photo forgotten where it was long ago tossed across the fence and left for me to mow around. It has been months now since I've heard the old familiar and comforting thump thump thump of the ball on the driveway. Nick's attention is being drawn to other matters these days. He grows from boy to man and the familiar fades. It's tough to keep up with things. Ryan has long since given up those ways so comforting to a Dad.

The next shot is Pepper....what was on his mind is uncomprehendable. But I think he was hoping I would try to take that bone from him and chase him about the yard. Play is still at the top of his "to do" list. He has no concerns of the future, but it will change him too...just as it has Bowden, Christy, Ryan and Nick.

The third click I took that day is an old Blue Fisherman. There is no play in his day. He has fished the canal since sun up and will stand in concentration until a soundless call draws him back to his nightly sanctuary in the Everglades. For him it's a matter of survival, not choice. That design has been successful for eons. Just like the Heron, we will all have a soundless and unexpected call....it will be time to go.

All of the photos spoke to me of God's timetable. Independent of our wants or imagined needs...just according to his plan. We must be prepared. That was the message God sent through Brian....."Enjoy it all, love the gifts of God's Hand...glory in it, wonder in it...breathe in, breathe out, move on....but prepare your soul." Brian was a deep thinker, but I don't think I ever really knew all that was on his mind. I don't think anyone did actually. He did look below the surface of things...that was evident. It came out in any discussion with him and more so in his art. His drawings seem to breathe on their own.

I know this....He was loved. His parents are crushed, but can never fault their effort. They loved Brian as God loved us all... It was just time. Twenty-eight years, eleven months and twenty days...who knew that was God's time? The silent call came. What does God's calendar have for you?

I don't know if Brian was prepared...I can't imagine such a deep thinker not being. It's impossible to ponder God's creation as closely as Brian did and not KNOW. I hope he was. I hope to see him again. But to make any guess would be to judge. That, my friends, is God's obligation alone.

My nephew, I'll miss him.

This n That

So we've come to this, have we? Two kids in college.....neither with the sense to wipe his butt or blow his nose. How did it come to this? Nigh on twenty years I've been raising these two boys, and I don't have much so much as a scorched skunk for my trouble. I do have stained carpet, busted drywall, and a car insurance bill Donald Trump couldn't pay.

The genetics are there...or so Tilena says anyway. Sometimes I just don't belive there is any evidence at all that my genes have been passed on in these boys. By the time I was 18 I was able to figure board feet in my head (the computation of area in any given section of lumber). These two clowns can't get from the bathroom to their bedroom without losing their underwear and socks. Nor can they figure out how to get urine from their bodies into a round hole without bouncing it off the wall and floor. WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN, I had already left home, worked at a full time job and was a full time student. If I peed on the floor, I had to clean it up myself....but I digress.

My honest intent here was to update you all on us since I had been otherwise occupied for the last five months. Unfortunately, I've been busy with Bevis and Butt-Head since Friday Afternoon and that was fresh on my mind. There is much to report though, so here goes.

1.) We have a new family member in the home. My mother in law "Penny" has moved in and become one of us. She is actually away at the present having gone for a brief visit with other family. We expect her back any day now. She is a joy to have around, and I miss her greatly.

2.) Speaking of Beavis and Butt-Head, both of them are college students now. I do give them both grief, but must confess... they both work and go to school, and neither one has their portrait hanging in the post office....though the day is still young. I enjoy harranging them, but they are great kids who really try. Both still worship and attend Dad's Sunday School Class. That is a treasure to me. They're well mannered respectful gentlemen who always make their parents proud....poor with their aim, but honorable with intent.

3.) My dear Emma Grace is still my very heart. Pappy doesn't get to see her much, but I will be getting up there very soon now that I have only one job. Mr. Parker is prospering and making a regular jolly old elf. I regret not being able to watch them grow. Christy is good about calling, but it's just not like being there. Thinking of Christy always gives me hope. You know she was crazy as a sprayed roach for a couple of years too...But she sure made good citizen once she "got right".

4.) Eric and Mark e-mailed me this week. They're out in LA now working with Heather's husband. Hard to believe both those boys have earned degrees and hit the work scene. I have no idea what they studied "other that girls". But in this day and age, having boys who like girls is an accomplishment itself.

5.) Kim also sent me a note. She and Jason are thinking of leaving Colorado and moving to the West Palm area. That would be a treat for us. It's tough having family on the opposite side of the continent. Hopefully, they will find a nice place here near us.

6.) I haven't talked to my old friend Simon in some time. However, I do think Les may be thinking of going with T-Bug to see Christy. I'm not certain of that, but Tilena did mention asking her to ride along. Del will be going up with them. I always rest better when Del goes with Tilena...though too trusting of people sometimes, Del is tough enough to hold her own (and Tilena's share) if it comes to a showdown....she is always willing to "fist" someone. I do believe Del could kick your butt hard enough to make you wear it for a hat.

7.) My Sister and a couple of her sons were down to visit a couple weekends back. Guess what? Brian, her eldest, has taken up gardening. I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my plants and ideas with him. He and Timothy were both loads of fun. We hadn't been together in many years. Hopefully, I'll get to see her third son Darren soon. Actually the weekend prior, we had made a fast weekend trip up to Ocala to have an impromptu family reunion. All my Dad's surviving family members came down from Virginia, so we went up to meet them. Angie & Paul and Susan & Gary came along...and even Sara was there. Great weekend!

Well troops, that's enough for now. We're about to head off to Church. It's dinner on the grounds night. Wouldn't want to be late for that now would we? I need to go to church...the more I keep thinking about that whole "genes" thing...the madder I get. I think I'll go in there and whack my wife up side the head.................maybe not...she is the kind to make me a big bowl of grits.

Don and Company

Time in a Bottle

The Immortal Jim Croce once penned the words "There never seems to be enough time to do the things you wanna do, once you find them, and I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I wanna go through time with..." The song was entitled "Time in a Bottle", and it fits more every day.

When I was a wild teen the song meant nothing more to me than a chance to "dance a slow one" with a girl. Today with the sand in my hourglass slipping away, at least I have garnered real appreciation of ole Jim's lyrics. I have gotten to the stage in life that I really do know what I want to do and accomplish "in this life"...but there never seems to be enough time to do the things I wanna do....well, you know the rest.

But aside all the time restraints and busy life....I did get to look around enough to know "The one I wanna go through time with". That is enough for me. Should this very sentence be my last act upon God's Earth....it was enough to spend it with her. God's gift to Man is the woman he goes through time with. As I post these thoughts, mine is at Church helping out with Vacation Bible School. Her boss has been kind enough to allow her to leave work early enough every day this week in order to make it to VBS on time. You can't buy that kind of loyalty from an employer. Let alone one that understands the value of the Gospel to our children. I myself, am very thankful for his heart, and we're both fortunate to work for organizations that honor and bear a commitment our Lord. She will be home any minute and Nick will be in here soon, hungry, and you can bet there will be something ready for him to eat.

T-Bug and I have seen a lot of days slip through our hourglass. There are fewer today than there were. Some we enjoyed and some we tolerated. Some days we thrived...some we just cried..but as with all Christians , our best days are yet to come. I just couldn't imagine having spent them with anyone else.

I'm afraid I'm spending too much time these days with work and too little with the ones who will be there when work is all over. I've heard it said, " No one leaves this world wishing they had spent more time at work". By August, I hope to be back to normal with my work. Then I'll go back to examining every grain of sand as it slides on through the glass. Hopefully, I'll take a bit of that time to reflect upon it all here with my friends. I'm sorry I've been so neglectful. Looking back at the number of posts I've had, it's easy to see when I picked up the extra duties in April. I will get back here if God allows me to tarry. If not, you can complain to me about it when you find me in Glory.

Until then...love the one you go through time with even if you can't find the time to "do the things you wanna do". God wants it that way.