Remember When.....

My memory sometimes plays tricks on my mind. As I age my long term memory seems to grow richer, deeper and more alive; while my short term memory is sometimes almost non existent. This week, I've had a couple of old friends post comments or send me messages and it has seemed to trigger a virtual waterfall of "back in the day" memories....or what I profess to be memory...I've been accused of remembering things that never happened. But more often these days I find myself standing in the middle of Wal-Mart with absolutely no recollection of what Tilena sent me there for. Then I realize I also forgot to bring my phone. Which also reminds me of the point...I can't remember my own phone number. Heck, I often walk into one room from the other only to...ah...ummm...err.. now what was I saying???

But forty years ago, now that's another thing altogether. Some things are so heavy and rich in my mind it almost hurts to dig them up. I have noticed that I can see, hear, feel, taste and even smell the memories through four plus decades of mist and dust. I can still see my Mom's shape standing in the kitchen while I'm outside on a cold winter day at dusk....the window is foggy with condensation and the smell of fried chicken wafts out of the house. I can still hear the sound of the shovel as I clean out those steer stalls and can still feel the heft of a pitchfork handle in my hands. In the spring those same hands would turn green from tending the tomato vines, and I can still smell the acrid scent it left behind. Do you remember the sensation of morning dew on bare feet? How about the smell and silence after a hard rain or the taste of saltwater at Dekle Beach? Even today, I don't know if my ears are ringing or if I'm remembering the sound of Cicadas singing on a hot afternoon. Sometimes if I sit still, the sound of my Dad's footsteps still echo down that dark hallway at night and I can hear those floorboards creak in that one spot. Cold weather makes me think of those frosty mornings when all us kids would fight for space on that cold wood floor in front of our single gas heater...yeah, I can still smell that gas from the old pilot light too. My Mother's voice floating on the breeze calling me to dinner is still fresh in my mind. Nobody ever called my name exactly the same way she did. Any mention of the 70's makes me instantly feel polyester pinching the hair on my legs, the flop of a ponytail down my back, and the roll of "earth shoes" under my feet... Anytime I hear the names Tammy, Billy Joe or Dobie I'm reminded of three lives snuffed out way too early. I can still see each one of them and wonder....

The memories all jumble up in my mind, each with a photograph attached. Some still hurt to look at, but most give off a warm glow and some even evoke a rich belly laugh. Many are likely modified by faulty memory and a young fellow's embellishment, but I wouldn't sell a single one even if it were possible. Some are desperately personal and not another soul will ever know...Sometimes I yearn for someone to share the others with, but unless you were "in the picture" it probably doesn't mean anything to you. We each have that private photo album in our own head. Different sounds, feelings, tastes and sights. Nectar of the mind. I think I'll sit down and flip through a few pages....I think my Mama is calling me.

Joe Arpaio where are you?

I think it's high time we had a blog to create some thought, if not downright controversy. Hope you'll all read this thoughtfully and come up with opinions of your own. Please remember to be considerate of others and tolerant of their views. You and I may not share the same view...but you do have the right to be wrong.

Arizona has held sway in the headlines this week. At contention here is immigration, privacy concerns, safety, taxes, healthcare and the always polarizing issue of racial tensions. If you've been living under a blanket this week, Arizona has passed into law a bill which not only allows, but requires Arizona police officers to ascertain the legality of any person's presence within the boundaries of Arizona. Prior to this enactment, police officers there, as in other states were not even allowed to ask a person if they were in the country illegally.

There is no doubting the impact of illegal aliens on our existence. Taxes, unemployment, the health care system, and even crime rate are all impacted in some manner. Drug trafficking and violent crime stats are exploding along the Mexician / US Border. Just to what extent these issues are affected are hotly debated. So we have the question of "What to do?" How about those individuals who have been living in the country for years, if not decades as honorable decent people? Is it the same to be an illegal immigrant from Great Britian, as it would be if you're from Mexico? How about Canadians? Remember the Mariel Boatlift of 1980? As many as 125,000 Cubans fled Castro's Cuba for Florida. That number pales by comparison to the millions upon millions of people streaming across the border into Texas, Arizona and California. But even at 125,000 people, there was no denying the dramatic change upon South Florida's economy, culture and even crime rate. The vast majority of those refugees from Cuba were honest hardworking, salt of the earth people who created opportunities for themselves and others. Some of them are among my very best friends who carry my greatest confidence. They made a positive impact on the area. But with them came a few criminals with a culture of crime Florida was not prepared for. Is this mass exodus from Mexico and all of Central America even comparable to the Mariel event? How about the mass exodous of Northern Europe into the US in the 1800's?

As he looked back over the events of his life, the wise Solomon remarked in Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, "There is a time for all things and every purpose under Heaven..." Another wise man who's opinion I greatly value (my Dad) once told me..."Spend your time building bridges instead of fences. But if you find it necessary to build a fence, and you will, build it horse high, pig tight, and bull strong." Somewhere in this collective wisdom I think lies the answer...Pretending there is not a problem is not the answer. We know we have a problem....I'm just not sure we know exactly what the problem is, let alone what the answer may be. Has our world passed the point of open borders? Have we already passed the window of opportunity? Why is no one trying to flee the US?

Personally, I'd rather share a border with Cuba and Mexico than either California or Washington D.C. There is no doubt the ratio of crooks to honest folks is better in Mexico and Cuba than those other two places. To be up front with you, we elect crooks and then hire them lobbyists to help them make crooked ,biased, ill informed decisions.....but I digress.

Well, tell me what you think....we'll wash this pig and then I'll get back to my standard blogging. Every once in a while, I just want to hear what you think.

Please remember to keep it civil...

Don and Company

Bucket List

I've gotten into the Facebook groove with most everyone else lately. Its fun to reconnect with old friends and aquaintences. Let it be enough to say, time changes people. Time changes expectations.

One of those old friends has been exchanging a series of comments with me for weeks now. It's become apparent that he has "overcome his circumstances". Originally from a very humble childhood, my friend now enjoys a fine home, expensive wine tastes, famous friends, worldly travels and a check book to match them all. He's probably spent more money this week than I'll make this year. Although I'm sure he meant no harm, it made me feel somewhat an underachiever as I read his accomplishments. He's just become familiar with a financial lifestyle I'll never know. Today he posted about "Standing on the Great Wall of China at daybreak, and walking the Thames River at sunset" He went on to comment that he's "Walked around Stonehenge in the misting rain, visited Mozart's birth place in Salzburg, Austria and spent 12 straight hours in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam"....all of this in addition to his travels in Rome and visiting the grave of the famous poet John Keats.....Now I'm impressed with all that, I really am. I'm happy for him, because he deserves it...he obviously worked hard for it. Me? I've got less culture and more red on my neck than most anybody you know. I've hardly even been out of the Eastern United States. But let me tell you a little bit about what I have done, where I have been, and what I do know....

I was blessed by God to be holding my Daddy's hand when he died, and eleven months later kissed my Mom goodbye as she departed this life. I know what it is to have to tell your Mama her baby girl is dead. I've got a couple of sisters who would still fight for me...Susan out of loyalty and Angie for the pure joy of the fight. I've witnessed my two boys birth, and had the joy of raising the most fiercely loyal daughter anybody's ever known. I've buried family and made new friends. My family and I live in a place where you can see the moonlight through the coconut fronds most any night. I know what Dekle Beach smells like when the tide is low, and I know how to find arrowheads off the Mouth of Fish Creek. I ate my first oyster at Howards Cafe...and if you don't already know where that is, you'll never know. Although my sunrises and sunsets have been mostly limited to Florida and Georgia, nobody anywhere watches them with greater relish. The sunsets I see these days are like the one in the picture up top...that one's from my front porch. I spent my entire childhood on a farm. To this day I still prefer animals over a lot of people I know. I've been rejected and loved when I didn't deserve either. I've got a dog that thinks I'm Superman, and a wife that IS a Superwoman. I grew up knowing how to skin out a hog, grow peas, build fence, pull crab traps, bale hay, cut swamp cabbage and pluck a chicken. I also hope I never have to do any of that ever again. I've sold coon skins for spending money and sat up many nights shooting rabbits in our bean patch. Most of the vegetables I eat have bacon fat and pepper sauce on them. I've hoed corn with one Grandpa, and cut hay with the other. My Uncle Clyde told more tales than Mark Twain, but he taught me things my Daddy didn't know; like how to hunt and fish....and how to spin a good yarn. I am not cultured enough to have ever developed a taste for caviar, but I do like catfish stew, cornbread, and sausage gravy. I know my mama and daddy had been married 48 years when he died...that in itself taught me one of my greatest lessons. I've never sailed on a cruise ship across the ocean, but I have spent the night on the Gulf of Mexico in a 14 foot fishing boat when I didn't plan on it, and I've swam with the dolphins a couple of times too. I've never been to Stonehenge, but my wife and wallet have. I've stood on the sidelines of the Orange Bowl while Ryan played in the state championship. The next year I got to watch him play in the State All Star Game. I've sat in the bleachers behind Christy through some games when she never got off the bench except for the National Anthem. She's taught me more about loyalty than anyone else in the world. I've traveled all over South and Central Florida to watch Nick play basketball...I even got to see him get hot one night and light up the scoreboard. All three of my children have never lived a day when they were ashamed to say "I love you" to their Mom and Dad in front of their friends. My grand children live too far away, but they do know their "Pappy". I've got a son in law that is willing drive them down to see me occassionally. He also loves my little girl. I've learned that love is not measured by what you can pay for, but what you're willing to give up. I'll soon be retiring from a job that has given me great satisfaction, but relatively little in financial gain. I knew that going in. I've been fortunate enough to brush a few strokes of paint on the wall of a lot of young lives, on both sides of the bars. I've been outside in the teeth of Hurricane Wilma and the Storm of the Century. Those two events taught me how easy God can humble man. I've lost a home to fire and one to flood. I know how blessed I was to lose only material possessions both times. I've lost as many battles as I've won...that is the taste of real living. I have two friends (Roy and Donnie) I believe would die for me. You just go make a jackass out of yourself and you'll find out who YOUR real friends are too.

Yes, it's safe to say that my Bucket List has changed a bit over the last thirty years. I don't think any of us leave high school with the intention of being average. Few people envy my bank account, my car or my house. I never made it to Europe or even to New Zealand where I once dreamed of going...the Everglades will just have to do. What earthly success I've enjoyed is due greatly to Tilena's grace and patience. Most of my failure I can claim from my own poor choices. But I do sit here today firm in the knowledge that I am the richest man on the face of this earth. Most of all I know this...Tonight I'll go to church with Tilena and later, lay my head on that pillow. The last thing I'll see before I close my eyes is Tilena's face... The last thought through my mind before I drift off will be the same as every other night..."When I wake up, I'll either be looking at her, or I'll be looking at the face of Jesus". That's something Europe can't offer. My bucket is full.....

Somebody's Gotta Paddle

Friday was a tough day at work. There is always much to be done, and normally not enough day to do it in. Have you ever had those days when your boss comes by and says....Chief, I'm under the gun today, can you take care of this little thing for me? About that time, one of the office staff calls in and says, "I won't be in today....little Jimmy has a snotty nose, and oh by the way, FDLE is coming to do an audit today." Then I call to check on the progress of an assignment I had given someone weeks earlier and they say "oops, I forgot...I'll get to it next week." Most often these days happen on Friday...everybody tries to avoid me on Friday afternoon anyway. After all, who wants to be caught working at 4:50 p.m.? Now there's a fate worse than death. So after a few hours of that, I sat everything down, got in the car and went out for a Coke and peanuts. (yes I do put the peanuts in the coke) So anyway, as I was enjoying a nice cold, crunchy beverage; I rode down by the boat basin and saw the image I photographed above.

That sight said to me what I had been thinking all day long..."Well guys we're all in the boat, we all wanna go fishing, but don't think I'm gonna do the paddling", "It's too close to the weekend". Isn't that like us sometimes? We all want to get somewhere, we all want to accomplish something, we all want a paycheck, but nobody wants to do what it takes to get us there. Work is not the only place I see that. It happens at home, at church, at the club....you name it. I must confess I'm sometimes guilty myself. More likely, when I'm viewed as lazy, its actually more a case of not giving a fat baby's behind...I'm truly a contented person...lazy sometimes, but contented nonetheless. So anyway, I worked late to catch up on some things. The beauty of working at 5:30 on Friday afternoon is that NOBODY is around to interrupt you. After work I came home and found out Tilena and Penny were going away for the weekend...It's Sunday now and I'm getting hungry. Haven't eaten since Friday, but do you really expect me to cook?

In Between

The holidays are all in the rearview mirror now, and a new year....even a new decade is at hand. Somewhere in between Mad Cow Disease and my home value falling 50%, our family underwent a major metamorphosis in the last ten years. Despite the disasterous overall events for the world at large, we were blessed. In January of 2000 this was our family's world:

1.) We lived in a 110 year old house in Georgia.

2.) The combined value of our two cars was less than my dog is worth today.

3.) Christy was 19, living at home,and I was unlocking her car door about once a month.

4.) Ryan was 9 and Nick was 8. I was coaching them in Dixie League football and baseball.

5.) We did not have King Bowden, but we did have Tobias Blue...he didn't care for visitors either.


6.) My Mom, my Dad and Tilena's Dad were all still alive...we didn't see a cloud on that horizon...

7.) I knew absolutely zero about tropical plants.

8.) None of us had ever heard of Emma Grace or Parker Clayton.

9.) The size of my police department? They averaged about 380 lbs. each...

10.) I had been to Clewiston only once in my life, Tilena had never heard of it.

I didn't realize just how much things had changed until I actually began thinking about this. God has taught me an awful lot personally since then. My temper has almost completely disappeared, and my judgement is lessening. Tolerance of others has certainly improved...except for when I'm in traffic (he ain't finished with me yet), but then, there was an awful lot of room for improvement in most areas of my life. Hopefully the next ten years I will learn even more. As far as change...who knows what will be? If you had told me ten years ago that today we would be living in a place where the grass never quits growing. Or how much I would love a grandchild. Or that I could love another dog as much as Toby...I just wouldn't have believed it.

Tilena has changed very little in ten years. But then she didn't need to. Well.....maybe if she wasn't quite so lippy... Otherwise, she is still as gorgeous as ever. She's as wise as ever. She taught me a lot about life and myself.

Christy went from being a child, to being married and having two children of her own.

Ryan and Nick went from being very small children...to being very big....children.

Ole Toby....if there's a dog in heaven, it's him. He suffered a Libby every where he ever went...that's a story unto itself and maybe I'll tell it on another day.

As for the rest of the world, it was a painful and crushing decade. Disaster upon disaster at every turn. My heart hurts for the people I see on TV and read about in the papers. As bad as the natural disasters were, they paled in comparison to manmade ones. Lies have been told and retold....we've allowed ourselves to be governed according to some of the largest lies in history. We've all suffered from them. The worst of it all is that the most vulnerable are the greatest believers in the lies. People like me who never believed a word of it will survive....maybe even thrive. But those who had so much to lose....and wanted so bad to believe such incredulous, fantastic tales, will be saddled with crushing lifelong debt. So sad...so very, very sad. How can we not understand the most basic principle of economics..."It profits the wage earner nothing, to destroy the wage payer, but it will cost both their livlihood"...OK, enough of politics...that temper thing does not appear to be completely cured...

So, my thinking is that we must surely have a better decade ahead than the one behind. Ten years from now I plan on being 3-4 years into retirement. But you know what God thinks of us making plans in advance...In the words of Robert Burns, "The best laid schemes o' mice and men, Gang aft agley"...bet some of you didn't know Steinbeck took those words from an old Robert Burns poem did you?

As for the next decade, 'twill be the teens...pray for us all, it's a difficult age.

Don & Co.

Thanksgiving

Well, it's coming around again. Thanksgiving and all the Holidays that trail behind. I'm not complaining mind you, I really enjoy the next couple of months. They just seem to come around more often these days.

Hopefully Emma Grace and Parker will be coming to see me for the Turkey Day weekend. Christy says Parker is beginning to look like the Michelin Man with his fat little self. I sure miss them. Emma Grace was all decked out for Tricks and Treats. Did I say I miss them? I've posted a couple photos of them. One of Parker and Christy and the other is Gracie and Carlton. Christy sure takes a good photo doesn't she?

These guys are just four of the many things I give thanks for regularly. I am THE most blessed man on earth for sure.

Well troops....I just haven't felt particularly inspired to write for some time. Sorry about the absence...The feeling just ain't there you know? I tell you what though. You guys send me some ideas or opinions of a few things, and maybe I'll find some creation or controversy in some of it. After all, I do want to put out things you're interested in.

Take care all and send an idea or two my way.

D & C

Late Afternoons

Brian would have enjoyed seeing these things. All of God's creatures, scenery, and plants were a neverending sense of wonder to him.

I went to see Brian one last time last week. I was not ready to say

goodbye to him...but God sets those

dates and has no obligation to check

with any of us. Many times He told us how unexpected the time would

be upon us. Still we wait and delay. I pondered His Word on the subject long since Tilena and I returned from the trip. The afternoon following our ride home, I was wandering around about the place as the remains of the day drifted away. Any number of thoughts crossed my mind when I thought to pick up the camera and see what God showed me. In the first shot there on the left, my focus was drawn to the basketball sitting in the back of the photo forgotten where it was long ago tossed across the fence and left for me to mow around. It has been months now since I've heard the old familiar and comforting thump thump thump of the ball on the driveway. Nick's attention is being drawn to other matters these days. He grows from boy to man and the familiar fades. It's tough to keep up with things. Ryan has long since given up those ways so comforting to a Dad.

The next shot is Pepper....what was on his mind is uncomprehendable. But I think he was hoping I would try to take that bone from him and chase him about the yard. Play is still at the top of his "to do" list. He has no concerns of the future, but it will change him too...just as it has Bowden, Christy, Ryan and Nick.

The third click I took that day is an old Blue Fisherman. There is no play in his day. He has fished the canal since sun up and will stand in concentration until a soundless call draws him back to his nightly sanctuary in the Everglades. For him it's a matter of survival, not choice. That design has been successful for eons. Just like the Heron, we will all have a soundless and unexpected call....it will be time to go.

All of the photos spoke to me of God's timetable. Independent of our wants or imagined needs...just according to his plan. We must be prepared. That was the message God sent through Brian....."Enjoy it all, love the gifts of God's Hand...glory in it, wonder in it...breathe in, breathe out, move on....but prepare your soul." Brian was a deep thinker, but I don't think I ever really knew all that was on his mind. I don't think anyone did actually. He did look below the surface of things...that was evident. It came out in any discussion with him and more so in his art. His drawings seem to breathe on their own.

I know this....He was loved. His parents are crushed, but can never fault their effort. They loved Brian as God loved us all... It was just time. Twenty-eight years, eleven months and twenty days...who knew that was God's time? The silent call came. What does God's calendar have for you?

I don't know if Brian was prepared...I can't imagine such a deep thinker not being. It's impossible to ponder God's creation as closely as Brian did and not KNOW. I hope he was. I hope to see him again. But to make any guess would be to judge. That, my friends, is God's obligation alone.

My nephew, I'll miss him.