Husband Years

Below is a couple of shots of two identical vanaties situated on opposite sides of our bathroom. The one on the bottom belongs to my bride, and the one on the top is mine. They illustrate as well as anything can one of the many mysteries of the differences between man and his keeper. The photos were taken at the same time, same day, with absolutely no preparation or pre planning. They are both just as you would find them on any given day of the year.



One hundred forty-seven years of marriage will be entered into the books for us as of Saturday. I guess that spending so much of my life living in the dog house has caused me to age in a similar canine fashion. Anyway I was lying in bed at lunch today, as is my custom, thinking over the things Tilena and I have seen, done, succeeded at, failed at, rejoiced about, and worried over together. There's a formula for super glue out there that has made someone very wealthy, and I'm sure it contains many of these ingredients. Those experiences have bound us together in a way no human intervention could separate. There were ,of course, days when the committment we made before God was the sole reason we remained together. More and more though we are reaping huge dividends and banking enormous profits from gritting out teeth and hanging in there through those tough days. The balance came as we recognized more and more the truth of the words written in Red, and a realization of the trivial nature of most everything else we would encounter. The triangle theory "as some refer to it" says....Take any two entities separated by time, experiences, beliefs, social placement, likes, dislikes, distance and education, and focus them both on the singular Glory of God our Creator and challenge them both to travel "alone" toward that single point. Focus only on the destination God and look neither to the left nor the right. The next time they look over at one another, they will realize how much closer they've become to one another during that time. And as more and more time passes, it becomes clearer how God's mandate of "two becoming one" is fact. I think I said once before...I'd rather be in jail with Tilena, than free with anybody else in the world. She is me, me is she, Me and She are today simply WE. We've fought more battles and suffered more losses than most. But we remain as a testament of a Glorious God's Grace.

Never let it be said though, that we don't have our differences. Actually, we have more differences than commonalities. It was curious that just as I got up from considering these things and a nap that never came, I looked directly into our bathroom. The view gave me a quick reference into the subject. On the one side you see my vanity....identical in construction, scope, size, and material to my bride's side. The similarities end right there. Even at that, of the six small items on my vanity, four of those were put there by my wife. I guess it takes a lot of work to keep such a good looking woman "dressed out"....Now I ain't complaining mind you, just making a comparison. Shoot, I don't even need a comb anymore.

There is a lot a fellow learns over the course of a multi-decade marriage. The fact that wives speak a completely different language is one of them. For example...if she says "whatever, it really doesn't matter to me..." IT MATTERS. If she says "does this dress look bad on me?" your answer shall be..."honey, NOTHING looks bad on you". The most trouble I remember getting into was early in our marriage. One night she pulled on a pair of jeans and asked me...Do these jeans make me look fat? and of course, me being the wit I sometimes think I am, thought it would be funny to say..."No...it's your hips". As soon as the swelling went down and I could see clearly again, I remarked how slim she was looking.

We're just different, women and men. Don't try to analyze it...just accept it. There's no earthly reason to argue over something you're never going to agree about anyway. We simply see things differently. You know, I quit arguing with my wife many years ago. When we don't agree, I just let it go. I'll find something else to do, somewhere to go. What I've recognized is that I love her more than being right. See, if me and her argue, somebody will win and the other one has to lose....and I don't ever want my wife to lose at anything. So here's the thing. either I was wrong to begin with...as I probably would have been anyway...or I go away knowing I've given her the gift of grace. At some point past or future...I owed it to her anyway.

So anyway, these are just a few thoughts I often point out to my sons. I do hope my son in law shares a similar philosophy. Cause he's living with both the second and third most valuable women on the earth today. Besides....I don't imagine he gets a whole lot of "unsecured credit" from my Christy anyway. She can hold her own with anybody. Are you listining boy? Don't make me come up there...............

That mentioned, I'll attempt to put up another shot of Clayton Parker. Of course, there's no way I would leave out my Gracie Bug. She just don't sleep enough.









It's hard work being a big sister.....We're off to Ft. Lauderdale for our anniversary this weekend, so those of you at church, we'll miss you. The boys will hang around and take care of Bowden and Pepper.

God Bless us all.

Don and Company