Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby
If you ain't first you're last

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bucket List


I've gotten into the Facebook groove with most everyone else lately. Its fun to reconnect with old friends and aquaintences. Let it be enough to say, time changes people. Time changes expectations.

One of those old friends has been exchanging a series of comments with me for weeks now. It's become apparent that he has "overcome his circumstances". Originally from a very humble childhood, my friend now enjoys a fine home, expensive wine tastes, famous friends, worldly travels and a check book to match them all. He's probably spent more money this week than I'll make this year. Although I'm sure he meant no harm, it made me feel somewhat an underachiever as I read his accomplishments. He's just become familiar with a financial lifestyle I'll never know. Today he posted about "Standing on the Great Wall of China at daybreak, and walking the Thames River at sunset" He went on to comment that he's "Walked around Stonehenge in the misting rain, visited Mozart's birth place in Salzburg, Austria and spent 12 straight hours in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam"....all of this in addition to his travels in Rome and visiting the grave of the famous poet John Keats.....Now I'm impressed with all that, I really am. I'm happy for him, because he deserves it...he obviously worked hard for it. Me? I've got less culture and more red on my neck than most anybody you know. I've hardly even been out of the Eastern United States. But let me tell you a little bit about what I have done, where I have been, and what I do know....

I was blessed by God to be holding my Daddy's hand when he died, and eleven months later kissed my Mom goodbye as she departed this life. I know what it is to have to tell your Mama her baby girl is dead. I've got a couple of sisters who would still fight for me...Susan out of loyalty and Angie for the pure joy of the fight. I've witnessed my two boys birth, and had the joy of raising the most fiercely loyal daughter anybody's ever known. I've buried family and made new friends. My family and I live in a place where you can see the moonlight through the coconut fronds most any night. I know what Dekle Beach smells like when the tide is low, and I know how to find arrowheads off the Mouth of Fish Creek. I ate my first oyster at Howards Cafe...and if you don't already know where that is, you'll never know. Although my sunrises and sunsets have been mostly limited to Florida and Georgia, nobody anywhere watches them with greater relish. The sunsets I see these days are like the one in the picture up top...that one's from my front porch. I spent my entire childhood on a farm. To this day I still prefer animals over a lot of people I know. I've been rejected and loved when I didn't deserve either. I've got a dog that thinks I'm Superman, and a wife that IS a Superwoman. I grew up knowing how to skin out a hog, grow peas, build fence, pull crab traps, bale hay, cut swamp cabbage and pluck a chicken. I also hope I never have to do any of that ever again. I've sold coon skins for spending money and sat up many nights shooting rabbits in our bean patch. Most of the vegetables I eat have bacon fat and pepper sauce on them. I've hoed corn with one Grandpa, and cut hay with the other. My Uncle Clyde told more tales than Mark Twain, but he taught me things my Daddy didn't know; like how to hunt and fish....and how to spin a good yarn. I am not cultured enough to have ever developed a taste for caviar, but I do like catfish stew, cornbread, and sausage gravy. I know my mama and daddy had been married 48 years when he died...that in itself taught me one of my greatest lessons. I've never sailed on a cruise ship across the ocean, but I have spent the night on the Gulf of Mexico in a 14 foot fishing boat when I didn't plan on it, and I've swam with the dolphins a couple of times too. I've never been to Stonehenge, but my wife and wallet have. I've stood on the sidelines of the Orange Bowl while Ryan played in the state championship. The next year I got to watch him play in the State All Star Game. I've sat in the bleachers behind Christy through some games when she never got off the bench except for the National Anthem. She's taught me more about loyalty than anyone else in the world. I've traveled all over South and Central Florida to watch Nick play basketball...I even got to see him get hot one night and light up the scoreboard. All three of my children have never lived a day when they were ashamed to say "I love you" to their Mom and Dad in front of their friends. My grand children live too far away, but they do know their "Pappy". I've got a son in law that is willing drive them down to see me occassionally. He also loves my little girl. I've learned that love is not measured by what you can pay for, but what you're willing to give up. I'll soon be retiring from a job that has given me great satisfaction, but relatively little in financial gain. I knew that going in. I've been fortunate enough to brush a few strokes of paint on the wall of a lot of young lives, on both sides of the bars. I've been outside in the teeth of Hurricane Wilma and the Storm of the Century. Those two events taught me how easy God can humble man. I've lost a home to fire and one to flood. I know how blessed I was to lose only material possessions both times. I've lost as many battles as I've won...that is the taste of real living. I have two friends (Roy and Donnie) I believe would die for me. You just go make a jackass out of yourself and you'll find out who YOUR real friends are too.

Yes, it's safe to say that my Bucket List has changed a bit over the last thirty years. I don't think any of us leave high school with the intention of being average. Few people envy my bank account, my car or my house. I never made it to Europe or even to New Zealand where I once dreamed of going...the Everglades will just have to do. What earthly success I've enjoyed is due greatly to Tilena's grace and patience. Most of my failure I can claim from my own poor choices. But I do sit here today firm in the knowledge that I am the richest man on the face of this earth. Most of all I know this...Tonight I'll go to church with Tilena and later, lay my head on that pillow. The last thing I'll see before I close my eyes is Tilena's face... The last thought through my mind before I drift off will be the same as every other night..."When I wake up, I'll either be looking at her, or I'll be looking at the face of Jesus". That's something Europe can't offer. My bucket is full.....

14 comments:

Snowbrush said...

I'm more in your boat, and like you, I had the privilege of being with my parents when they died.

Ginnie said...

Compared to your friend, you have been the one with the satisfying life. I ain't never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul. There are things in this life that money just can't buy and that my friend is the experiences of life, love, family and faith. You are blessed beyond measure.

Snowbrush said...

Ginnie said: "I ain't never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul."

Maybe dead people don't like to move around much, or maybe they can afford professional movers, or maybe they moved to Tahiti. Beats me.

Anonymous said...

Dad, if anything, you have taught me, ryan, christy, and carlton how to live a godly life, and how to raise a family. You have sacrificed many things just to make us happy. And we are truly happy for what you do for us. Love you.

Anonymous said...

Don, I swear I cry every single time I read your blog. I think you should write a book! I luv ya for loving my sister and being the Christian man you are. Those that know you are surely blessed. Keep writing...Even though it makes me cry. Be looking out for ya! You're favorite sister-in-law, hehe, Carol. (and thank you & Tilena for taking such good care of our Momma)

clew said...

Hey there! I came across your blog while surfing around today. This is a great post. I've had a similar experience with an old friend on Facebook. And it's good to take a moment to note how great our own lives are in and of themselves.

I'm sure I'll be back around. Have a great day!

Purple Cow said...

I stumbled on this blog by pressing the NEXT BLOG button and all I have to say is this... Your friend sounds quite poor if he needs to brag about things on FB statuses... the really rich people just don't have time for this. Infact sounds to me like he is a bit of a pretentious upstart with a persecution complex.

Also I have found that FB is an altered state of the truth as our old friends seem so much more glamorous than they may be in their actual lives. I have old school friends impressed by what I do for a living but I personally feel I'm pretty low down the food chain.

I like your attitude! Last Christmas I saw its "A wonderful life" with Jimmy Stewart and the leading character reminds me of you...

You are lucky!

HAVE A BLESSED EASTER WITH YOUR WHAT I IMAGINE TO BE BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!

Purple Cow said...

sorry - I meant inferiority complex - not persecution complex...

Anonymous said...

I also stumbled on this blog by hitting "Next Blog" and I'll just say this:

You're friend may travel, he may have loads of money, but that does not mean he is "successful" or "happy." Because when people have to TELL you how wonderful their life is (and tell the masses on FB), the more I realize they need to say it so they can believe it themselves. To maybe "show" people how far they've come.

I find more peace sitting on my patio watching the birds flitter around than any trip could bring.

And you know....it's never too late to visit New Zealand. It's only too late when you're dead.

BarbarainPA ~ blogspot

Anonymous said...

Please see! money as debt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVkFb26u9g8

ZEITGEIST: ADDENDUM

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

project camelot magnetic motor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkgyY47duCM

Important please pass forward

cbsillos said...

I am also a stumbler, coming across you blog by accident. My sister just turned 50 and has been struggling with her "bucket list". I sent her a copy of this post and I can't tell you what it meant to her. Her chaplain read it out to the group she works with at Hospice. Thank you for sharing and I sure wish I knew where Howard's was! :)

Anonymous said...

BTW...thanks for the "never got off the bleachers" reminder...thanks for putting that out there! (I did get off a few times!)

Love You,
Christy

Anonymous said...

Don Gutshall! What a beautiful piece of writing. You are indeed blessed.

Polly

Aries1221 said...

Beautiful. I'm sitting in my office with tears in my eyes. Thank you for this uplifting piece.